suicidal

suicidal thoughts came unbidden to my mind. when i'm crossing a road, i look at the cars; "run me over", i tell them. when i'm in a tall building, i keep looking down at the ground floor, wondering how it would feel like to make an impromptu trip down. "shinutai", i keep telling myself. in those few moments, thoughts of pain were pushed aside. i had lost my appetite for life.