mon melancholy

wonder when it'll be before somebody remembers and decide to type "arinstrel.blogspot.com" in to the address bar. *wry smile* such a long time... the considerable time lapse in between my posts has to do with
a. the troublesome-ness of posting anything. i remembered my frustration at getting my posts to be visible after posting them. to no avail. not so sure about now. supposed they've improved. or was it my internet? nevermind.
b. the usual mundane-ness of my life and my lack of ability to observe interesting things around me. or rather, to take note of things and make interesting comments. commenting on comments is another thing. and i don't do that on my blog. and i don't do that on other people's blogs either, cos i have trouble even viewing the comments.
c. the lack of time [and energy] to even be online. i'm online alright [i.e. connected to the internet] all the time when i'm at work, staring into the screen of my primitive windows 98 computer, hammering out bills for other people. oh, my sis hogs the com most of the time too. i hardly have time to read. it's all my train time. yeah.
[what? it's the new year already? what a great hullabulloo they're making outside *grumble grumble*] [naah, can't be. haven't counted down yet, have they? what's so great about the new year? *mumble mumble*]

aaaaand on to life.

the usual mundane speech to all who care enough to read it.
currently rotting 9am to 6.30pm+++ at a certain bookstore in tanglin shopping centre [an ulu place selling antiques and art pieces to discerning individuals and tourists]. the books are select, and so are the prices. we do the academic tomes mostly, with some art, focusing on the asian region. amazingly, i'm now seeing how it works behind the scenes, though it ain't too much.
fishes. to think i used to like ***. as in, i used to like hanging out there. now i'm just kljKLjkjfgkl:eLKJklgfjKLj!k over it. well, actually, it's still a favourite haunt, but i got mixed feelings about it. just depends on which end you're on really. being outside the office makes all the difference. *sigh* ahh fishes.

can anyone tell me what's so happy about the new year?
*pause*
yeah, the public holiday =_=

once upon a september

"here are 4 coupons for this month. once per week." beamed Queen ##. "remember to redeem before the due date."

"yes mother." said Princess ~~. "mother, can i use the toilet now?"

"why of course you can." replied Queen ##. "is it for major or minor?"

"just minor, mother," said Princess ~~, skipping towards the water closet.

~~`~~`~~`~~

"i'm done with my minor, mother," reported Princess ~~. "uuh, is it ok i use the coupon this saturday? Prince << is free.."

"the terms and conditions don't forbid weekends right?" said the Queen with a smile. "but do come back before the stroke of midnight. our citizens have been complaining about pumpkin road accidents of late."

"of course mother." Princess ~~ turned one of the coupons over and glanced at the fine print.

. good through july
. inform Queen ## and King && of appointment 1 day in advance (earlier if possible)
. inform Queen ## and King && of the other party's name
. inform Queen ## and King && of the location
. return to castle no later than midnight (inform timing if possible)
. only one coupon per week

"thank you so much!" beamed Princess ~~. "certainly certainly," replied the Queen. "anything for my dear daughter!"

[ok, i meant to publish this ages ago, but i shall do it now: 14 minutes before 2008 =.=]

ha zu ka shi i ><

"veronica, i need you to check the prices of posting these through registered mail and courier.." C handed me a white box (13x13x18cm).

"prices for registered mail and courier.." i echoed.

"yes, what courier can you use?" C asked.

"speedlink..?"

"yah. check the prices for these too." 2 brown envelopes were passed to me.

"so.. do i send these out immediately?" i asked.

C looked at me, and with that same level tone of voice that was not hostile but not very amicable either said "look at the envelopes. can you tell me what's wrong with them?"

i looked. very briefly. "um, can you just tell me?"

"there's no address."

"oh." was my intelligent response. the floor didn't swallow me up.

Sweep Hack Drain

phew. can anyone smell that? horrible stench in here. i know, it's my fault. having left this bit of space turn into a swamp. but isn't that mudskipper over there just adorable interesting? haha. ok, someone just bugged me to drain the swamp, so i gotta. *squeaking of tap being turned*
psssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh~~~~~~

let's start from my current status and work backwards.

the 10 to 10 job is now a was . I'm currently stationed in bugis, workin' a delightful 9.45am to 6pm, which is like about 8 hours? minus off makan time and plus abit of unpaid OT and you get 8 hours. far cry from the 12 hours i clocked in the past, not forgetting the tuition AND preparation for tuition. and no tubes (oh joy!).
so what the hell do i do in these 8 hours? well, basically coordination for promoters and certain ongoing projects. then there's some clerical work, and layout (for POPM = point of purchase materials). downside is, food is certainly steeper here. expect a plate of main to cost about $3+? then a drink, which would be $1+. so it's $4++. over at JE, i usually get a vegetarian meal for $2.30. if i want a drink, i can pop over to ntuc and buy perhaps ice cool drinks (2 for $1.55, usually). that's a total of $3.10 a meal. rant rant. ok lar, i know it's just about a dollar's difference (or 2), but seeing the 4 in the figure irks me. haha.

back along the x axis... i was in australia. brisbane to be exact. was there for close to 2 weeks. there was kathy and peter, friends of my parents', and there's helensvale, where their cottage bungalow house abode is. it's really nice. cozy's the word. walls in pastel yellow and blue, cheery curtains and lace hangings, pleasant scents throughout the house, comfortable beds and duvets with a nice smell of fresh laundry, paintings in every room and in the corridor, self made mobiles on curtains, a pool outside, a view of helensvale golf arena outside. ain't that just great? not too mention, it's a cooling temperature of about 20 degress celsius every day (it was winter).
oh yah, there's a linen closet, just like in enid blyton books! (well, english books, at least)kathy works at helensvale golf club. she just walks there or she can drive her buggy right out the buggy garage and onto the golf course.

i tendered my resignation for art-serve. well, i didn't get to finish all my experiments but whatever. went back one afternoon to pass a movie world souvenir to sally aunty and saw the new girl picking out letters for tubes. wonder if she's got a design graduate and how long she'll last...

well, that's basically the whole graph in general. ok, swamp drained. *punches card and leave* =]

trickle

listening to Epilogue [Relief] by Apocalyptica.

if procrastination is the thief of time, what is a 10 to 10 job? on top of that, i'm tutoring a young taiwanese boy english. phonics, to be exact. at least, for now.
i've hardly any time for myself. reading a novel takes ages. [currently still on "with a tangled skein"]

pros
. near
. my choice of off days >> able to continue tutoring >> able to go back to SPCO
. affable boss
. not so stressful environment (when compared to a design house, or something)

cons
. long hours
. meagre pay
. hardly any time left for myself
. lack of better prospects stemming from current position (?)

i know this is stupid, but what i really want is to work in a bookshop. maybe i'll set up one in future. in the west. maybe JE. *laughs* yeah... and it'll be those 2nd hand sort.

speaking of bookshops, i recently bagged 10 books for $1 each! i feel so proud of myself
. blue adept
. question quest
. demons don't dream
. the letters
. grim tuesday
. point blanc
. the demon headmaster
. the prime minister's brain
. tris' book
. street magic
and i got animal farm for $3.50 *beams*
think my clients would be happy.

trickle, and today becomes tomorrow, which in turn, can no longer be tomorrow, but today, since tomorrow never actually comes. sleep beckons.

fallen angel

the closing of a chapter

9am. that was supposed to be the reporting time. just as the minute hand pounced on '3', she shuffled into the grounds of the national library, her sling bag bumping clumsily against her skirt, causing some discomfort to her thigh.
the place was hushed, though there were a few diners at Hans. up ahead, she could see the panels already set up. a few people were about, fiddling with the sound equipment. there was no sign of her coursemates. turning towards the glass doors of the library, she sighed. the library wasn't open yet either. the chairs near the counter were, nevertheless, accessible. she waddled towards them.

time trickled as she stared into space. the black cushioned chairs were quite comfortable, but she forced herself up to check if any of her coursemates had arrived.

"i have to print something," said yixiu. iz had also arrived! at least there were three dcmd souls. she tailed them to sunshine plaza, pausing a moment to inspect her reflection in the glass of nlb; a bespectacled girl in a blue blouse and light brown skirt, a sling bag, soft slip-on shoes, and two ponytails. yep, she nodded, could have passed for a secondary student, and allowed herself a private smile.

she did what she did best in the 'double a' shop at sunshine plaza... rot. but simply rotting became boring and before the decaying spread to her mind, she decided to take a gander at shops in the vicinity. there was one sporting anime goods and she pressed her nose to the glass for a long while... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

back to the double a shop she went. her friends have yet to settle their printing business. the A0 boards wouldn't be ready till later. sighing, she exited sunshine plaza and made for book haven again. this time, it would be open.

for a long time she stayed. the library was a refuge. the calm in the chaos. the eye in the hurricane. the blind to her worries of her future and career.

after a few hours had transpired, she stepped outside anyway. the boards have arrived. she looked at hers and grimaced. sucks like shitcrap, she thought. pieced together in a morning in a slapdash manner. nobody will want to hire me. i'm just not good enough. she knelt on the carpet and helped velcro-ed the boards anyway.

opening night dusked upon the DCMD and DID students. she donned the black t-shirt (borrowed) and the black lanyard, careful not to wander near her panel. with a heavy heart, she bided her time till dinner came, fed, and left, eager to put distance between herself and her nondescript exhibit...





as you can see, the undesigner is trying her hand at meddling with the code she sees in blogger, with little success. yep, just a little. don't even know what i have in mind actually. aha.

Scientifically Scrawling I

SR GR superstring BHs XDDD

colorgenics

You are setting yourself an illusory goal. Whatever it was that has made you so bitterly disappointed has left a nasty taste in your mouth and you feel that 'enough is enough'. You are sick of it all. Wouldn't it just be wonderful if you could retire to a desert island and turn your back on the past? But it's an illusion and you know it. [true for a number of things]

At this time you 'need to be needed' and again you 'need to need'. You have had this feeling for some time now and you are looking for someone who could share a close bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy. You have the belief that with the right person you could conquer the world. [no intention to conquer the world]

It's the old old story - I am misunderstood - my partner (be it in your private life or in business) just doesn't understand me and YOU also believe at this time that you are being completely MISUNDERSTOOD by one and all. It then obviously follows that you naturally feel inhibited and not appreciated. It is perhaps because of this belief that you feel compelled to stand back and let the rest of the world go by. As for developing a firm relationship - inwardly deep down in your subconscious mind you are wary of even trying to get close to another person because you feel that if you open up your heart and feelings you are sure to get hurt. [i'm afraid of getting my partner hurt] Since you are living in a society where close relationships are the norm, you feel that there is that need to conform [naah, there isn't], but any close relationships of any magnitude that you may have tried in the past have unfortunately left you without any sense of emotional involvement.

Having experienced considerable disappointment of late and not knowing quite what to do about it this has led you to suffer a great deal of agitation and anxiety. You are trying very hard to make favourable impressions all round. You feel that you have a right to do anything that you wish without being condemned for your beliefs. [true for a few facets of my life, heh] Everything seems to be going against you and you feel helpless to change the situation. The possibility of failure is most upsetting and this situation is leading to untold stress. [you're telling me] You honestly believe that the situation is not of your making - it is not your fault - you have been misled and abused by those that you trusted, [naah, it was really my fault] but you are trying to look at the situation quite dispassionately. Would you perhaps not agree that this situation could be regarded as unrealistic self justification? [whatever, i didn't self-justify meself]

You are completely worn out - physically and mentally - and it has got to the stage where 'you don't want to participate anymore'. You are in fact experiencing what is known as 'burnout' and your reaction is such that you feel that everyone is against you yet you still seem to refuse to listen to reason. You are hostile, bitter and indignant. You insist that you want and are entitled to your own way - well maybe you are, but your attitude is not conducive to making friends. Take it easy. Let go and get back into the World.

Save ________

That age old question:
IF you see your spouse and your mum (or dad) drowning, and you can only save one person, who would you save?

Answer:
If i jump into the waters, it'll probably be a worse dilemma for the next person to come along!

Linguistically Speaking IV

小说 = small talk ?

oh, the joys of direct translation XDDD (ok, not really direct)
can't get enough of it XD

Phew!

Phew! It's over! What a relief!

The past few days have seen me totally stressed out and appetite-less. I mean, i get hungry, but i can't seem to get anything down my throat. I keep telling myself that it's only a few bars but my body can't seem to understand that. Stress, stress, stress.

On that day itself [14*01*07, sunday], during the rehearsal, i got the solo parts right for the 1st time, but when it was the 2nd time everything was 超不准!! Had to mark the 6, 1, and 2 notes (G 调) on my erhu with liling's marker. Hah! And i didn't rehearse the shouxi custom, the whole walk-into-stage-after-everyone-is-seated and gesture-for-the-sheng-to-play-A-D-A part. Heck, i didn't even know it was ADA, asked the conducter at the 59th minute.

Luckily, nothing went awry during the actual performance. The qizhou was ok, except for the 1st page of 奔驰在千里草原, there was one part where i felt it was a bit 乱. Ok lah, no biggie. The xylophone was a little slow for 骏马奔驰, but well, guess we can overlook that.

Thanks to DY, HL, JY, YF, William, Wang Lau Shi, Mr Lee, all guest players and alumni! WHeeet! Success!!

Now i can rest easy. Hah~~~

Wait, no, there's still projects. &^%)&^)(*&_%*$!!!! T-T

houdinia

tofu

Mother Turkey: We're having tofu human this thanksgiving!
Children: Awwww shucks!

suuuuuuuuuuuucks

It was past midnight.
My mum came into the study.
"Not sleeping?" she asked. "Is that due tomorrow?"
"No", i said, clicking about in Dreamweaver. It was due yesterday.

今

a rosy outlook on my life at the current coordinates. the graph that started at (0,0)[1987] with a sketchy line drawn up to "shuqun primary school", continuing up to "swiss cottage secondary school", and then for a brief time "jurong junior college" before spanning across the (nearly) 3 years of slacking studying at singapore polytechnic. right after the line travels to "graduation", i'll find myself at the next set of coordinates marked "unemployment". unless someone above decides to mark "death" first. yay.

yesterday saw the 2nd last practice before the big day. the concert was postponed and postponed [oh yeah, the brother of the long P word i'm very well acquainted with] until 2007. if they had postponed it any longer, i would be considered "alumni" already. well, what can i say, the dazu songs lian until quite lan already, and the erhu qizhou songs... well 7788 lah, more or less. the hu guess players are quite "zai" but we need to get the coordination right [yeah yeah, i come into the picture here, obviously, i can't lead], need to sync with the yangqin as well. yay. i'm the shouxi of 3 SPCO hu players [including myself] and a host of guest players. in fact, they make up the majority. *smiles* well, it's duo kui ta men for this concert. *bows* thanks to ye all!!

yay! i'm all set to screw up the concert! feel my optimism!!

Pre-Hypothesis

the number of people in a shop is inversely proportionate to the price of the items

people tend to have left partings (hair)

[that's all for now, my bed turns into yam cake if i don't sleep by 12 (when i'm not doing homework)]

[note: first post this year! XD]