colorgenics

You are setting yourself an illusory goal. Whatever it was that has made you so bitterly disappointed has left a nasty taste in your mouth and you feel that 'enough is enough'. You are sick of it all. Wouldn't it just be wonderful if you could retire to a desert island and turn your back on the past? But it's an illusion and you know it. [true for a number of things]

At this time you 'need to be needed' and again you 'need to need'. You have had this feeling for some time now and you are looking for someone who could share a close bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy. You have the belief that with the right person you could conquer the world. [no intention to conquer the world]

It's the old old story - I am misunderstood - my partner (be it in your private life or in business) just doesn't understand me and YOU also believe at this time that you are being completely MISUNDERSTOOD by one and all. It then obviously follows that you naturally feel inhibited and not appreciated. It is perhaps because of this belief that you feel compelled to stand back and let the rest of the world go by. As for developing a firm relationship - inwardly deep down in your subconscious mind you are wary of even trying to get close to another person because you feel that if you open up your heart and feelings you are sure to get hurt. [i'm afraid of getting my partner hurt] Since you are living in a society where close relationships are the norm, you feel that there is that need to conform [naah, there isn't], but any close relationships of any magnitude that you may have tried in the past have unfortunately left you without any sense of emotional involvement.

Having experienced considerable disappointment of late and not knowing quite what to do about it this has led you to suffer a great deal of agitation and anxiety. You are trying very hard to make favourable impressions all round. You feel that you have a right to do anything that you wish without being condemned for your beliefs. [true for a few facets of my life, heh] Everything seems to be going against you and you feel helpless to change the situation. The possibility of failure is most upsetting and this situation is leading to untold stress. [you're telling me] You honestly believe that the situation is not of your making - it is not your fault - you have been misled and abused by those that you trusted, [naah, it was really my fault] but you are trying to look at the situation quite dispassionately. Would you perhaps not agree that this situation could be regarded as unrealistic self justification? [whatever, i didn't self-justify meself]

You are completely worn out - physically and mentally - and it has got to the stage where 'you don't want to participate anymore'. You are in fact experiencing what is known as 'burnout' and your reaction is such that you feel that everyone is against you yet you still seem to refuse to listen to reason. You are hostile, bitter and indignant. You insist that you want and are entitled to your own way - well maybe you are, but your attitude is not conducive to making friends. Take it easy. Let go and get back into the World.